Or is it? An in-depth look at what four sleeping positions say about our relationship.
Sleeping too little can be harmful, and there are many myths about how much to sleep. But can your sleeping position teach you about your relationship? It cites a study of 2,000 British couples’ sleep habits.
The five sleeping positions reveal much about our relationship. We asked body language and nonverbal communication expert Christel Seier to make a suggestion. She is an author and a coach.
We humans often move with our front towards those we like, just as we turn our upper body towards people we like. Couples lying on opposite sides of the bed with their backs to each other may lack intimacy and closeness. The need for “space” can also be a sign that you want your own “space” in the relationship.
27% of English couples sleep side by side. 2. Sleeping together – 23% of couples surveyed do so.
Having a backup can provide security. Maybe because our ancestors taught us that a bare back means attack. So the person closest to a window or door often needs to sleep back to back. This sleeping position may indicate a need for intimacy, physical contact, and personal space.
18% of couples spoon.
The relationship is marked by intense closeness and intimacy. You have a strong bond with each other and a strong need for security. It is usually the largest and most dominant at the back of the spoon.
3. Love knot
8 % of couples surveyed slept in a knot.
This is the most intimate sleeping position. In this relationship, unlike at the spoon, security is created jointly. In order to protect each other, they filter their bodies together.
3% of couples sleep with their heads on the chest.
The woman with her head on her chest seeks security with the other. The man is naked on his back, and the woman is protected by facing him.
Maybe you’re thinking about how far apart you and your partner sleep. If so, don’t fret. We spoke with sexologist and author Sara Skaarup, who explains the importance of sleeping positions and why couples prefer to lie separately. She says:
It is obvious that sleeping far apart is a bad sign in a relationship. But distance between you does not mean you have quarreled or are “disconnected”. Sometimes you just need some space. That’s fine.
Many people, especially singles, romanticize the fact that boyfriends sleep close together at night. The study found that most couples prefer their own company or limited contact while sleeping.
Consider what you do before bed.
Sara Skaarup cares more about what we do together before our eyelids clap:
You can be great boyfriends during the day, even if you mostly sleep together. What you do just before you say goodnight is vital to the relationship. One should want to be physically connected to his partner, preferably in love.
So we don’t have to sleep as high, says Sara Skaarup.
We still move around a lot at night and don’t know where we spend the most time – we sleep.
That’s why we read about relationship signs.
Many websites have articles about signs of good and bad relationships. But why do we care to read about it? We asked PhD student Anna Sofie Bach. She studies gender and love.
We live in a self-help society, where we are constantly bombarded with new recipes for the perfect life. Our issues must be identified. Our relationship is the same, says Anna Sofie Bach.
- She also believes the interest stems from our cultural narrative that a relationship must be actively worked to succeed.
- The devil is not on the wall when you read the many signs of a good or bad relationship, says Anna Sofie Bach.
- When reading these guides, keep in mind that they are also entertaining. So watch out for phantom issues, she advises.
- There may be a very practical reason why we don’t sleep as close as we used to:
- The beds are bigger now and we don’t need as much heat.
Of course, the above sleeping positions are part of a larger whole. You can have an intimate and close relationship even if you sleep far apart and face each other. So, remember to look at togetherness, communication, and body language in the waking hours, says the body language expert.